It has been a long hiatus that this page has been updated with a blog and it looks like eons in the blogosphere spacetime. But it is no fault of mine that the human creativity mimics the natural process of radioactivity. For the luckier ones who did not get what I meant; it decays exponentially, it has reduced more this year than it had done in the previous year and unfortunately it will reduce even more in the coming years but never to the point that it becomes zero and that is even more unfortunate because this page will always have a probability of getting updated.

So what is it about? I recently realized that I have lived for more than a quarter of a century now. It does sound bigger than a mere 25 years. If I let my memories stray in these past decades (wow decades!!), I remember those innocent days of childhood when we were almost oblivious to whatever was happening in the outer world. And now we are in an age of loneliness where everybody knows what is going on in the world but not in the neighbourhood. Things have changed and change a lot. Childhood games have been replaced by playstations and xboxes, chaat by pizzas and burgers, *mele* by malls, theatres by multiplexes, friends by cellphones and TVs and what not. It may be all for good but I know that there is something which has diminished - the spirit of humanity. It seems that there are other things that mimic radioactivity!! The only respite is that it will also never become zero!!

A Glass of Water

People have used a simple glass and some water to define certain kinds of people. Most motivational speakers or books describe an optimist as someone who finds a glass half-filled with water as half-full as opposed to a pessimist who finds it to be half-empty. There is no objection to the above definitions but they do not describe the complete set of optimists and pessimists.

Consider that a glass is partially filled with water (or any other drink you want). An optimist will see even a 10% filled glass as somewhat filled rather than somewhat empty. (Assuming the guy is not thirsty). On the other hand, a pessimist will see a 90% filled glass as somewhat empty. The genius is always the entrepreneur who, even after getting an empty glass, will see the glass as an opportunity to be filled and will promptly fill it.

Footnote – A person who can discern that a half-filled glass is both half-empty and half-full will surely be an engineer ;-).

A Stupidity Masterpiece

It has been a while now that I am thinking of writing something about the software industry but every time I fail to find anything meaty enough to interest the reader because as I see there is actually nothing meaty out there. The software industry is a superb economic machine that churns out the fuel it requires to run itself and money is just a byproduct.

The great Albert Einstein once famously quoted that “Only two things are infinite – the universe and the human stupidity - and I am not even sure of the former”. Even the great man must not have envisioned that he had laid the foundation of a regenerative persistent machine that will shape the future of the world. If you have missed my point, it’s the human stupidity that has created this biggest money churning industry. You can argue that I am stupid but, honestly, this time I am not!

The universe of problems is infinite (Einstein must have missed it, okay) but the problems whose solution is useful are much less and the problems which could be solved are even lesser. For example, a solution (or rather software) to suggest a girl what dress she wants to wear is useless. Even if you suggest the best, she would reject it. Now, I will leave it to you to decide whether this problem is solvable or its solution useful.

The point I am so unscientifically trying to make is that why it takes infinite time for the software industry to solve any useful solvable problem? (This is a fancy way of saying that why can’t it solve the problems?) Simply because of human stupidity. When a programmer (there could be another post to decide whether to consider it among humans and for now lets consider him to be) tries to write a smart solution to a simple problem, he inevitably does something stupid and creates the quantum that energizes the software industry. In their lingo, this quantum is called a BUG.

So, once a problem is considerably solved, there starts the process of testing the solution and this triggers the vicious circle which is the heart of this machine. Testing generates a lot of bugs which generate more problems for the programmers and they in turn try to solve it and unintentionally inject more bugs. Since there is no way out of this vicious circle, once the number of bugs become considerably high that they cannot be handled, the software is declared to be dead.

After all, there is always hope. There will always be problems and always human stupidity!

PS – I am a software engineer.

A Walk in the Clouds

It might sound to be a romantic anecdote but its nothing of that sort. Its literal to its core. I recently had a walk in the clouds. All I could wish was it to be romantic.

California is famous for its sun, its skies and its summer. But it had rained the most in a century to welcome me in the state. A perpetual drizzling dark gray weather was the least I was expecting and that made my all my enthusiam go gray. Without a car, all I could manage to do during my first week was do nothing. And then it was the weekend. One of my friend was taking me to San Francisco. It was finally sunny in San Jose.

something else in stoWe took the US-280 from San Jose to San Francisco. It was rated to be one of the most beautiful highways and it was so. A turning and twisting highway surrounded by green slopy lands with colourful flower beds and beautiful dwellings was just mesmerising. But the rain gods hadre for us. When we reached San Francisco and were about to disembark at the Fisherman's Wharf, it started raining. It was pretty evident that it was waiting for us. But all in fun's name. After the famous sea-food and Ghirardelli's chocolate, it was time for the Golden Gate. The breathtaking view of the gate from the high viewpoints on the adjoining mountains was simply superb but the chilling sea wind evoked an undeniable urge for chai and pakode (You cannot forget India). Then we crossed the extremely slopy streets of San Francisco (and the curved Lombard Street too) to head to Berkeley, a much smaller but cozier town on the outskirts of San Francisco but equally famous for obvious reasons.

The whole of next week was sunny and spent in shopping and meeting friends. The clear blue skies had already filled my heart with unaccountable joy. But the best of the trip was still to come. The walk in the clouds.



The second weekend, I went to Santa Barbara just to meet up with a friend. Santa Barbara is a unique town with mountains on one side and sea on the other. We embarked on a drive to the Gilbartar rock, somewhere in the mountain. But as we started ascending the mountains, with the sea evidently visible in the far, it was cloudy again. But as we went higher, we touched the clouds. The place was not only mesmerizing but the calmness made it simply divine. The austere beauty of the green mountains and the white cloud scattered on them just took my breath away. We drove through and above the clouds for an hour and each moment was filled with awe. It was my walk in the clouds.

Everybody had suggested, and I am thankful that they did, to take the Amtrek train back to San Jose. The rail track has the infinite blue waters of the Pacific on one side and the green mountains, with clouds dispersing their shadows on them, on the other. The 35 mile stretch with clear blue sky, finally, was outstanding. The reddish grass and the flowery patches just merged into the golden sand to create a pallette of its own. And the yellow flowery patches on the mountains were no less in creating their own colours.

The Bug

Had God been perfect, we would not have existed. It is the ultimate incongruence in nature's four symmetries that the world even exists. And we mortals seek perfection. It is the inadvertent inability of ours to achieve perfection that has made us to believe that an epitome of perfection and God are synonymous. But, very ironically, its only the imperfection that is perfect. So if perfection is God, the Bug is the God!!

All our actions are headed towards achieving the unattainable perfection and we forget the underlying reality that keeps goading us - the imperfections. Human interaction, for example, is because of the incongruity of each individual's psyche. In the absence of such imperfection, there would have been no need of interacting. Everything would have been predictable. Another more materialistic example could be economics. The whole economics of the world are governed by the mismatch between the two basic determinants - demand and supply.

(More to come..)

Life Is Like That

“Damn you fool #%$&....”, I muttered under my breath as the driver in front of me changed his lane without an indicator and I had to almost stand on the brakes. This was nothing new for anyone driving in Delhi and nothing new for my day's beginning. Most of my days start by cursing on the road and this sets the tempo for the diurnal events to follow. But that January morning was different. The law of averages is a law after all.

“Damn you fool #%$&....”, I muttered under my breath as the driver in front of me changed his lane without an indicator and I had to almost stand on the brakes. Nothing new, I changed back to the second gear, pressed the gas and passed the driver giving him hideous looks which he accepted quite thankfully.

On the turn to the Greater Noida Expressway, there is always a bunch of hitchhikers needing lift to Greater Noida. They contribute equally to my cursing lessons by coming in front of my car to get A lift and I don't even go to Greater Noida. I just take the service lane to my office. On that January morning, I had decided that I will just knock over anyone who comes in my way. I was in the greatest of moods, you know.

As I somehow managed to take the free left (as the DTC bus felt kind enough to spare me some space), I did not see the crowd of hitchhikers. May be, nature had decided to let them know of my mood. It was 10 in the morning and still no sun. It was all gloomy with dense fog dampening the spirits and the vision. I just thought, maybe I cannot see them because of the fog and they must be lurking in somewhere to jump in front of my car. But I had decided, come what may, I am not stopping. And aren't there lessons to be learnt everywhere; darkest of fears keep lurking in the deepest corners of your mind and sometimes you have to just knock them over.

As I completed the turn, I did not know but I stopped after a few metres. She came to my window and said, “Can I get a lift to Greater Noida?” and someone somewhere said “Yes”. It took me an eternity to comprehend that I said that and by that time she was comfortably sitting next to me singing melodiously in my ears. Someone somewhere started a screeching alarm and I regained my senses only to know that she was thanking me. I just smiled at myself and sped off. And the problem was she was also smiling.

I kept driving, cursing myself why did I stop (this is a new lesson) and she kept smiling. Life tries to teach you but what if you are dumb. She kept smiling, making me more uncomfortable. Someone has said, girls are evil and that seemed to be true as they can just torture you with their smile. I started a conversation as I saw Chetan Bhagat's latest novel in her bag which I had already read.

“I hope you are not God as in that novel.”

She smiled again and I got tortured again.

“Well, of course not, and I haven't read that book.”

I cursed myself again.

“I am sorry and its a nice book.”

“I am no God, but I can forgive you.” She smiled again. But this time, I smiled too and this broke the ice. We went on talking and I kept on stretching the miles. No one would have ever driven so slow on the 8-lane Expressway. But physics is no joke and we neared Greater Noida. We promised to meet sometime and as we reached her destination, she looked into my eyes, a deep penetrating look. And then she just got off and left. The fog was gone and the sun shone brightly.

Life gives you everything – the good, the bad and the ugly but its you who have to grab when it gives you the good. As I parked in front of my office, I cursed myself, “She was standing right there. If only I had stopped”.

The Theory of "Bhating"

An invigorating bhaat session meandering seamlessly into the stretches of the night and we have a blog to write. The eccentricity of such nocturnal rap sessions is the perfectly random behaviour of the topics, the views and the equally random behaviour of both. Mathematically, the discussion could be modelled as a random permutation of a set of functions, such that each function possesses the peculiar property that the function and all its derivatives are continuous but none could be determined to be non-increasing or non-decreasing.

The low-cost (or rather no-cost) bhaat sessions are available in plenty and could be viewed as an ideal prototype to exemplify the Third Law of Thermodynamics. In an era where amalgamated sciences are emerging each day (Bio-Infomratics, Socio-Biology and stuff), such bhaat session could pave a way for studying yet another path-breaking heterogeneous field of science. This field would bring together the laws of physics with the social and psychological studies of mankind.

A bhaat session is generally triggered when a group of persons, who have nothing worthwhile to do, start talking. The ability to talk is critical but the mere definition obviates the necessity for hearing. If the group starts to hear, the possibility of deriving a conclusion arises which is not expected even in subpar bhating sessions.

Women, with the natural dexterity to bhat, are gifted with a tailormade part in the brain. Men, however, are denied with such gifts. But there are certain institutions that specialize in training men for bhating. One such institution is engineering. The engineering schools train the incoming fledglings for enough competency to take on either software industry or management. Whereas women have a special part in the brain, its ironic that men learn this skill by the gradual erosion of a part of brain (through the aforementioned institutions).

The intricacies of bhating are still an enigma but a better understanding of bhating could incite answers to a plethora of unreciprocated questions pertaining to the gamut of sciences.